ROCHESTER, Minn. — Cut a branch, and the tree will grow another. Block the sun from the left, and slowly, the tree will tilt to the right. Trees have perfected the art of healing themselves and growing toward the light. When I ask myself, have I done that yet? I can’t say a confident "Yes."
When I cross my colleague Jerry in the hallway, my first thought is about the harsh words he used in our meeting three years ago. I don’t wish to wear the shirt that a friend of mine gave me as a birthday gift because he didn’t respond to my text on two consecutive days. While boarding a plane, I am very good at noticing the person who joins the line out of turn ahead of me. And if he were to be sitting by my side, I might put on the noise-canceling headphones sooner than otherwise.
I don’t know when and how I picked up this habit — of reacting and diluting the good with the bad.
Diluting the good with the bad hasn’t served me well. It is like adding four spoonfuls of chili powder to a perfectly delicious soup. The chili powder takes over the taste. I wish to choose otherwise — to dilute the bad with the good. And it is not that difficult.
That comment from Jerry was one brief moment in one meeting. I have had thousands of pleasant meetings since then, including a few with Jerry. The shirt my friend gave me is actually very nice. The person joining ahead of me was a senior citizen from another country. Maybe he had bladder pressure or his back was hurting.
Adding a moment of reflection between stimulus and response and filling that moment with a more positive, validating perspective initially takes effort. But with effort, diluting the not-so-good with the good will become a habit.
It’ll help you preserve your energy and make the day more pleasurable. It’ll help you make more friends, including developing a lifelong friendship with your most precious companion — yourself.
Dr. Amit Sood answers your questions about stress, resilience, happiness, relationships, and related topics in his column. Email dearfriend@postbulletin.com.
"bad" - Google News
March 09, 2021 at 09:00PM
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Dear Friend: Diluting the bad with the good - Grand Forks Herald
"bad" - Google News
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